Former employee Shelby Dobbins shares why working in a gender inclusive workplace was great for them. We will miss you Shelby!
If gender pronouns are a new concept for you or you just are unsure about what it all means, allow me to explain! The idea of gender neutral pronouns has been around for a long time (look it up!). I use them because I identify as Transgender Non-binary. All that it really means on your end, is that I do not wish to be referred to as a “woman or a man”, just a “Person” or a “Human”. I also do not want to be called “Miss, Lady, She/Her, Sir or Ma’am”. There are a lot of reasons for this but they all boil down to one thing, I don’t feel like they fit me accurately and honestly, they make me feel uncomfortable.
It is a very simple, but huge change, that makes me feel great and even better when my coworkers are able to validate me by using my pronouns as well!
I understand it is something that totally trips people up when they are not in the rhythm. I too, at one point, had never heard of “Preferred Pronouns”, or really understood “Gender Neutral Language”. It tripped me up! I had only a handful of friends who identified as Transgender.
There were a lot of “He.. I mean SHE!”s and “Well.. they still look like a woman, so I don’t know why I would use “They”. I wasn’t being proactive to include this brand-new concept into my language!
So, with that in mind, here are some tips on being more gender neutral and inclusive!
Do:
Address a group as “Everyone”, “Folks”, “Ya’ll!”
Don’t:
Use “Ladies and Gentleman!”, or call everyone “dudes” or “guys!” Not everyone vibes with this and it is not inclusive to all people! If you really must argue this one, ask your straight male friend how many “dudes” or “guys” he’s ever dated.
Do:
Use everyone’s pronouns properly! Try incorporating gender neutral identifiers into normal conversation! “That person” or “someone” versus “That Guy”
e.g.,
“I had a really nice experience during my phone call with a customer service representative! They helped me check out a bike quickly!”
“I work with a great bike mechanic! They really know their stuff and have even helped me repair my bike!”
Don’t:
Give in to the impulse to describe people by their gender!! As much as we feel like it adds to our story… most of the time it is not necessary. As much as we want to believe we are fair, we can’t help an implicit bias once we start describing someone!
It is too easy to assume the wrong thing.
e.g.
“I work with a great bike mechanic, they really know their stuff!”
“Oh, what’s his name?”
Can you see what is wrong with this dialogue?
Do: Correct yourself if you make a mistake and move on! Treat pronouns just like if you used the wrong name for someone!
e.g.
“She worked earlier today … I mean they!”
Don’t:
Assume someone won’t mind if you don’t use the right pronouns! Please try and if you get it wrong it is OK to correct yourself. Having people make excuses is exhausting to hear.
e.g.
“She, oh I’m sorry! I mean.. they? I guess.. right? I just don’t really get why it’s a plural pronoun!”
Do: Respect everyone’s gender identity.
Don’t: Assume someone has to look a certain way, to identify as a man or a woman.
This mindset assumes that everyone has the resources to look and feel like they really want to. Just like we all dream of personal trainers to sculpt our beach bodies, sometimes we just have to make do with what we have!
A transgender person must also consider their safety with however they choose to present. In public, or even being out in the workplace can mean serious alienation, losing their job or even experiencing violence!
Do:
Use correct terminology! A Trans person is a Person first! There is no reason to “out” a transgender person.
e.g.,
“I work with a customer service rep Shelby, they use gender neutral pronouns and they’re awesome” ; )
In the case you do end up describing someone, think of the context and why you would even need to mention it.
“A man I work with is transgender, and my workplace is very understanding and inclusive about it!”
Use transgender as an adjective. It is not noun, you do not work with “a transgender”
Do Not: Reveal that a person is transgender!
e.g.
“This trans guy I work with is pretty cool”
“This guy I work with used to be a woman!”
“He used to be she”
No trans person “used” to BE anything! They may have “identified as” something else in the past, but it is usually invalidating to their experience to mention it and not cool!
By bringing up that someone is trans, under most circumstances, means that you’re allowing others to acknowledge they’re not just a “man” or “woman”
Trans people are just men, women or people first!